Alright, gather ’round folks, because I’ve got a story that’s juicier than a watermelon at a summertime picnic! 🍉 So, picture this: a New York bank manager, Reshma Massarone, decides she’s had enough of her brother-in-law while he’s vacationing in Guyana. I mean, we all have those family members, right? But Reshma, oh Reshma, she takes it to the next level. 🕶️💰
Between sips of her overpriced latte, she apparently thought, “You know what this situation needs? A hitman!” Yep, you heard that right. She allegedly slid into an old friend’s DMs – let’s call him Mystery Messenger – and asked if he’d be up for a little, uh, “contract work.” 💼💸
Now, Mystery Messenger wasn’t exactly thrilled about becoming a full-time hitman, so he made a proposition. He told Reshma that he’d rather be the middleman and hire a hitman himself. Hey, everybody needs a side hustle, right? 💼🔪
So, they started plotting this whole thing using Facebook Messenger and WhatsApp. I mean, come on, if you’re gonna plan a murder, at least use Snapchat for that disappearing evidence, am I right? 😂🕵️♂️
In one message that’s straight out of a crime novel written by someone with a flair for drama, Reshma allegedly promised Mystery Messenger that he’d be a “very rich man” if he took care of business. Cha-ching, baby! 💰💰
But Mystery Messenger wasn’t letting go of that trust issue. He replied with, “You better not double-cross us when we do your dirty work. Trust is key. Nighty night, sugar.” 🌙🔑
Reshma, though, had a solution for that: she pinky swore! Well, not literally, but she swore on her kids’ lives that she wouldn’t pull a fast one on Mystery Messenger. I mean, that’s some next-level commitment, right? 👶👶👶
Things got even crazier when Mystery Messenger asked for a down payment – $2,500, to be exact. And guess what? Reshma allegedly went full-on Ocean’s Eleven, withdrawing that moolah from a bank and even doing some high-tech wire transfer stuff at a Walgreen’s. Because, you know, nothing says “criminal mastermind” like Western Union. 💸🕵️♀️
And as if this plot wasn’t thick enough already, Reshma reportedly kept the conversation going until August 16. But then she hit Mystery Messenger with a “no turning back” text. Classic. Because clearly, hitman services come with a strict no-refund policy. 🚫🔄
Now, here’s the twist – we’re not exactly sure how the authorities got wind of this whole wink wink operation. Maybe someone accidentally butt-dialed 911 while they were discussing their evil plans? 📞🚓
Fast forward to today, and Reshma Massarone is chillin’ in federal prison because apparently, the authorities weren’t too impressed with her entrepreneurial spirit. Her lawyer’s probably having a meltdown right now, trying to come up with a defense that doesn’t involve using emojis as evidence. 😅👮♀️
So there you have it, folks, a tale of emojis, pinky swears, and a plot that’s wilder than a reality TV show. And remember, if you’re gonna hatch a diabolical plan, at least have the decency to use disappearing messages. Until next time, stay out of trouble, and don’t hire hitmen, seriously! 🙅♀️🔪Alright, gather ’round folks, because I’ve got a story that’s juicier than a watermelon at a summertime picnic! 🍉 So, picture this: a New York bank manager, Reshma Massarone, decides she’s had enough of her brother-in-law while he’s vacationing in Guyana. I mean, we all have those family members, right? But Reshma, oh Reshma, she takes it to the next level. 🕶️💰
Between sips of her overpriced latte, she apparently thought, “You know what this situation needs? A hitman!” Yep, you heard that right. She allegedly slid into an old friend’s DMs – let’s call him Mystery Messenger – and asked if he’d be up for a little, uh, “contract work.” 💼💸
Now, Mystery Messenger wasn’t exactly thrilled about becoming a full-time hitman, so he made a proposition. He told Reshma that he’d rather be the middleman and hire a hitman himself. Hey, everybody needs a side hustle, right? 💼🔪
So, they started plotting this whole thing using Facebook Messenger and WhatsApp. I mean, come on, if you’re gonna plan a murder, at least use Snapchat for that disappearing evidence, am I right? 😂🕵️♂️
In one message that’s straight out of a crime novel written by someone with a flair for drama, Reshma allegedly promised Mystery Messenger that he’d be a “very rich man” if he took care of business. Cha-ching, baby! 💰💰
But Mystery Messenger wasn’t letting go of that trust issue. He replied with, “You better not double-cross us when we do your dirty work. Trust is key. Nighty night, sugar.” 🌙🔑
Reshma, though, had a solution for that: she pinky swore! Well, not literally, but she swore on her kids’ lives that she wouldn’t pull a fast one on Mystery Messenger. I mean, that’s some next-level commitment, right? 👶👶👶
Things got even crazier when Mystery Messenger asked for a down payment – $2,500, to be exact. And guess what? Reshma allegedly went full-on Ocean’s Eleven, withdrawing that moolah from a bank and even doing some high-tech wire transfer stuff at a Walgreen’s. Because, you know, nothing says “criminal mastermind” like Western Union. 💸🕵️♀️
And as if this plot wasn’t thick enough already, Reshma reportedly kept the conversation going until August 16. But then she hit Mystery Messenger with a “no turning back” text. Classic. Because clearly, hitman services come with a strict no-refund policy. 🚫🔄
Now, here’s the twist – we’re not exactly sure how the authorities got wind of this whole wink wink operation. Maybe someone accidentally butt-dialed 911 while they were discussing their evil plans? 📞🚓
Fast forward to today, and Reshma Massarone is chillin’ in federal prison because apparently, the authorities weren’t too impressed with her entrepreneurial spirit. Her lawyer’s probably having a meltdown right now, trying to come up with a defense that doesn’t involve using emojis as evidence. 😅👮♀️
So there you have it, folks, a tale of emojis, pinky swears, and a plot that’s wilder than a reality TV show. And remember, if you’re gonna hatch a diabolical plan, at least have the decency to use disappearing messages. Until next time, stay out of trouble, and don’t hire hitmen, seriously! 🙅♀️🔪