Kody Brown's Reflections on Family and Monogamy

In the latest episode of "Sister Wives," Kody Brown found himself in a contemplative mood, pondering the breakup of his once-"big" plural family and the possibility of embracing monogamy with his wife, Robyn Brown.

Kody, aged 54, shared his thoughts in a candid confessional on Sunday, September 10, questioning the path he was on. He remarked, "It's a weird place to be, where you had this big family and it's a big thing. And now, we've got this small thing going on that's not unimportant and it is beautiful but it's not big like this other one. Can I adjust?"

Continuing, he raised the issue of identity, saying, "I don't want to sit and identify as a monogamist [but] if you are what you do, then what are you when you don't? Can I be a monogamist? Can I manage this? I mean, this is smaller."

Kody's reflections stemmed from a recent falling out with Janelle Brown, one of his wives, which had been aired a week prior. During a drive with his friend Nathan, Kody expressed surprise at the dramatic turn his relationships had taken.

Kody Brown's relationships with Meri Brown, Janelle Brown, Christine Brown, and Robyn Brown have had their ups and downs over the years. Many "Sister Wives" viewers were taken aback as nearly all of his wives started to distance themselves from him.

"Stupid things go through my mind, like, 'I wish I wouldn't have done that, I wish we wouldn't have ever gotten married, I wish I could go back in time.' … I just never foresaw this happening to me," he confided in his friend. "And I never foresaw my reaction to this happening to me."

Janelle, aged 54, was Kody's second wife after his marriage to Meri Brown in 1990. He later entered spiritual unions with Christine Brown and pursued a romance with Robyn, aged 44, ultimately divorcing Meri, aged 52, to legally marry Robyn.

Kody and Meri maintained their spiritual union after his 2014 wedding to Robyn, but their struggles played out on "Sister Wives." In January, Kody and Meri confirmed their separation. Janelle had already revealed in December 2022 that she and Kody had been separated for a while, and Christine, aged 51, was the first wife to leave the family in 2021.

Reflecting on the fractured state of his family, Kody lamented, "I was so optimistic about living plural marriage" when he began this journey. "Everybody seemed happy. And they're not now, nobody's happy now," he said. "It's heartbreaking. It was a dream and now it's gone. It's such a mess right now."

In addition to sadness, Kody admitted to growing anger, saying, "I want to grow horns right now so bad. I want to say mean things, I want to be a jackass... And when you lose that and you feel like you've failed even to God, you get in this place where it's like, 'Well, I should just be the devil I think I am now.'"

Kody concluded with a stark statement, saying, "I hate my life right now."

Meanwhile, Robyn shared how Kody's breakups with his other wives have impacted their own relationship. She expressed concerns about his suspicions and said, "I don't really recognize him right now and I've never seen him like this before."

Robyn remains deeply committed to their family, and the prospect of Kody questioning their marriage agreement deeply troubles her. She added, "It would absolutely devastate me if he decided to leave me... I know he would regret it, leaving everything behind."

"Sister Wives" airs on TLC Sundays at 10 p.m. ET.