Hey there, reader pals! 
Guess what? It’s time for another episode of “When Real Life Becomes a Wacky Courtroom Drama!” 
So, get this – an Oregon judge just dropped the ultimate mic drop on a bunch of folks from the Rose City Antifa who allegedly gave conservative journalist Andy Ngo a makeover he didn’t ask for. 
Picture this: downtown Portland, June 2019 – the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and all seems calm… until chaos bursts onto the scene like a toddler who just discovered a drum kit. 
Andy Ngo, the unsuspecting reporter, claims he was attacked by these Antifa peeps during a protest. Fast forward to now, and the judge is like, “Hold my gavel! 
” The court honcho ruled that three of the alleged assailants owe Andy a whopping $100,000 each! That’s a total of three hundred grand! 
Now, Andy’s feeling like he just won the lottery, except instead of a big check with confetti, he’s getting justice served on a silver platter. 
But hang on, let’s not pop the champagne just yet – there’s a twist! Two other defendants got away like those slippery soap bars in the shower. 
No liability for them! Andy’s probably thinking, “Well, it’s like I won the jackpot, but a couple of coins rolled under the couch.” 
In a virtual court showdown, the judge gave the nod to Andy’s claims faster than you can say “objection!” 
The three defendants? They were MIA. Yep, they pulled a “Houdini” and vanished from the courtroom like socks in the laundry. 
Poof! Victory for Andy! But here’s the kicker – Andy’s got his eyes on that sweet money, but he’s gotta navigate an obstacle course of legal hurdles to get it. It’s like “Ninja Warrior” for the courtroom. 
And let’s not forget the cherry on top – Andy’s lawyer claims he faced more drama than a reality TV show reunion. 
Imagine being grilled by the defense like a skewer of kebabs at a summer BBQ. “Did you really get attacked? Are you sure it wasn’t just a rogue pigeon?” 
The lawyer also claims Andy’s life turned into a twisted game of “Is This Your Injury or Mine?” 
Oh, and here’s the kicker – one of the defendants has a legal name that sounds like the secret menu at a sandwich shop. 
Let’s call them Sammich Overkill Schott-Deputy! Yep, they didn’t show up either. Maybe they were too busy adding extra mayo to their triple-decker BLT. 
But wait, there’s more! The lawsuit claims that Andy’s “unfavorable” reporting on these Antifa folks led to them treating him like a human piñata. Not cool, guys! They allegedly threw milkshakes that had a little extra kick – a concrete-drying substance. 
And if that wasn’t enough, they went all arts-and-crafts on him with signs and tactical gloves. Can’t you just picture them yelling, “Craft time!” while pelting poor Andy? 
And get this – video evidence! 
It’s like a home video from a family vacation, except instead of Disney World, it’s the land of legal drama. 
But here’s the thing, folks – even though Andy’s dancing his way to victory, the path to getting those Benjamins might be like navigating a maze blindfolded. Keep those fingers crossed! 
So, there you have it – a courtroom tale that’s juicier than a watermelon eating contest. 
Andy’s got a victory, the Antifa folks owe some cash, and somewhere out there, a sandwich shop’s secret menu just got a new entry. Until next time, this is your court jester signing off! 
Hey there, reader pals! Guess what? It’s time for another episode of “When Real Life Becomes a Wacky Courtroom Drama!” So, get this – an Oregon judge just dropped the ultimate mic drop on a bunch of folks from the Rose City Antifa who allegedly gave conservative journalist Andy Ngo a makeover he didn’t ask for.
Picture this: downtown Portland, June 2019 – the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and all seems calm… until chaos bursts onto the scene like a toddler who just discovered a drum kit. Andy Ngo, the unsuspecting reporter, claims he was attacked by these Antifa peeps during a protest. Fast forward to now, and the judge is like, “Hold my gavel! ” The court honcho ruled that three of the alleged assailants owe Andy a whopping $100,000 each! That’s a total of three hundred grand!
Now, Andy’s feeling like he just won the lottery, except instead of a big check with confetti, he’s getting justice served on a silver platter. But hang on, let’s not pop the champagne just yet – there’s a twist! Two other defendants got away like those slippery soap bars in the shower. No liability for them! Andy’s probably thinking, “Well, it’s like I won the jackpot, but a couple of coins rolled under the couch.”
In a virtual court showdown, the judge gave the nod to Andy’s claims faster than you can say “objection!” The three defendants? They were MIA. Yep, they pulled a “Houdini” and vanished from the courtroom like socks in the laundry. Poof! Victory for Andy! But here’s the kicker – Andy’s got his eyes on that sweet money, but he’s gotta navigate an obstacle course of legal hurdles to get it. It’s like “Ninja Warrior” for the courtroom.
And let’s not forget the cherry on top – Andy’s lawyer claims he faced more drama than a reality TV show reunion. Imagine being grilled by the defense like a skewer of kebabs at a summer BBQ. “Did you really get attacked? Are you sure it wasn’t just a rogue pigeon?” The lawyer also claims Andy’s life turned into a twisted game of “Is This Your Injury or Mine?”
Oh, and here’s the kicker – one of the defendants has a legal name that sounds like the secret menu at a sandwich shop. Let’s call them Sammich Overkill Schott-Deputy! Yep, they didn’t show up either. Maybe they were too busy adding extra mayo to their triple-decker BLT.
But wait, there’s more! The lawsuit claims that Andy’s “unfavorable” reporting on these Antifa folks led to them treating him like a human piñata. Not cool, guys! They allegedly threw milkshakes that had a little extra kick – a concrete-drying substance. And if that wasn’t enough, they went all arts-and-crafts on him with signs and tactical gloves. Can’t you just picture them yelling, “Craft time!” while pelting poor Andy?
And get this – video evidence! It’s like a home video from a family vacation, except instead of Disney World, it’s the land of legal drama. But here’s the thing, folks – even though Andy’s dancing his way to victory, the path to getting those Benjamins might be like navigating a maze blindfolded. Keep those fingers crossed!
So, there you have it – a courtroom tale that’s juicier than a watermelon eating contest. Andy’s got a victory, the Antifa folks owe some cash, and somewhere out there, a sandwich shop’s secret menu just got a new entry. Until next time, this is your court jester signing off!