Alright, buckle up folks, because apparently, even serial killers get to keep their bank accounts nowadays. 🙄 Yeah, you heard it right. Rose West, the “mass murderer extraordinaire,” managed to hold on to her banking privileges because, you know, apparently being a regular old murderer doesn’t quite cut it for causing a “reputational risk” to The Cooperative Bank. Like, seriously, who’s making these decisions? The same folks who think pineapple belongs on pizza? 🍍🍕
But hold on to your hats, because the plot thickens! Nigel Farage, former Brexit Party leader and self-proclaimed champion of all things Brexit-y, got the boot from posh Coutts bank faster than you can say “marmite.” 🇬🇧 He’s out because he’s just too risky for their taste, like a roller coaster with a “no vomiting” policy. Farage was left scratching his head, probably muttering, “My sins are considered worse than serial killers? Bloody hell, mate, that’s a new low.”
Now, gather ’round for this wild tidbit – apparently, the banking industry decided to channel their inner Marie Kondo back in 2014 and did a bit of a “clean up.” Imagine them holding accounts like old sweaters, asking, “Does this account bring us joy?” Well, someone must’ve found Rose West’s account in the back corner of their banking closet, covered in cobwebs and definitely not sparking any joy. But wait, they couldn’t just Marie Kondo her account away because it would’ve caused problems for her daughter, who was probably like, “Ugh, Mum, could you not get us kicked out of yet another bank?”
In case you missed the memo, Rose West is the infamous lady who got a life sentence in ’95 for, get this, TEN whole murders in Gloucester. Yep, you read that right, a perfect ten. I guess that’s like a serial killer strike in bowling, huh? 🎳 But don’t worry, the banking bigwigs didn’t see her murder spree as much of a big deal. Maybe they thought she was just really committed to decluttering the world of extra people? Who knows?
So, there you have it, folks. The world’s weirdest banking decision since someone approved the idea of contactless payment rings. 🤷♀️ Rose West gets to keep her account because, well, apparently, her brand of murder isn’t that bad for business. Meanwhile, Nigel Farage’s account is kicked to the curb faster than you can say “Brexit means Brexit.” It’s a wild, wacky world out there, and it’s being managed by folks who probably can’t even agree on the proper pronunciation of “scone.” Is it “skon” or “skoan”? The mysteries of life, I tell ya! 🕵️♀️Alright, buckle up folks, because apparently, even serial killers get to keep their bank accounts nowadays. 🙄 Yeah, you heard it right. Rose West, the “mass murderer extraordinaire,” managed to hold on to her banking privileges because, you know, apparently being a regular old murderer doesn’t quite cut it for causing a “reputational risk” to The Cooperative Bank. Like, seriously, who’s making these decisions? The same folks who think pineapple belongs on pizza? 🍍🍕
But hold on to your hats, because the plot thickens! Nigel Farage, former Brexit Party leader and self-proclaimed champion of all things Brexit-y, got the boot from posh Coutts bank faster than you can say “marmite.” 🇬🇧 He’s out because he’s just too risky for their taste, like a roller coaster with a “no vomiting” policy. Farage was left scratching his head, probably muttering, “My sins are considered worse than serial killers? Bloody hell, mate, that’s a new low.”
Now, gather ’round for this wild tidbit – apparently, the banking industry decided to channel their inner Marie Kondo back in 2014 and did a bit of a “clean up.” Imagine them holding accounts like old sweaters, asking, “Does this account bring us joy?” Well, someone must’ve found Rose West’s account in the back corner of their banking closet, covered in cobwebs and definitely not sparking any joy. But wait, they couldn’t just Marie Kondo her account away because it would’ve caused problems for her daughter, who was probably like, “Ugh, Mum, could you not get us kicked out of yet another bank?”
In case you missed the memo, Rose West is the infamous lady who got a life sentence in ’95 for, get this, TEN whole murders in Gloucester. Yep, you read that right, a perfect ten. I guess that’s like a serial killer strike in bowling, huh? 🎳 But don’t worry, the banking bigwigs didn’t see her murder spree as much of a big deal. Maybe they thought she was just really committed to decluttering the world of extra people? Who knows?
So, there you have it, folks. The world’s weirdest banking decision since someone approved the idea of contactless payment rings. 🤷♀️ Rose West gets to keep her account because, well, apparently, her brand of murder isn’t that bad for business. Meanwhile, Nigel Farage’s account is kicked to the curb faster than you can say “Brexit means Brexit.” It’s a wild, wacky world out there, and it’s being managed by folks who probably can’t even agree on the proper pronunciation of “scone.” Is it “skon” or “skoan”? The mysteries of life, I tell ya! 🕵️♀️