AZ Court Reviews Abortion Law 🚀

Alright, gather ’round folks, because the Arizona Supreme Court has decided to take a break from practicing their “how many cacti can we fit in a courtroom” challenge to review something pretty wild. 🌵 Brace yourselves, ’cause apparently, they’re revisiting the idea that doctors who perform abortions can’t be charged under an old-timey, pre-statehood law that’s like older than the petroglyphs out there.

So, like, picture this: the Arizona Court of Appeals was basically playing referee and blew the whistle saying, “Hey, doctors can’t be charged for doing the whole abortion dance in the first 15 weeks of pregnancy.” Why? Because apparently, Arizona’s got a collection of laws like a grandma’s quilt, and these laws over the years have been giving doctors the thumbs-up to perform this procedure.

Oh, by the way, in case you didn’t know, abortions in Arizona are totally cool within the first 15 weeks of pregnancy. Yep, that’s the rule according to a 2022 law. Just throwing that out there.

Now, enter Dr. Eric Hazelrigg, the medical director of those places that try to convince you that babies are the next big fashion trend, aka anti-abortion counseling centers. He’s like, “Hold my stethoscope, I’m going to the Arizona Supreme Court!” He wanted them to double-check this decision, probably while dramatically waving an ultrasound image in one hand and a bunch of pamphlets in the other. You know, like a really intense game of rock-paper-scissors.

And here’s the kicker: the law he’s waving around is from the 1864 playbook. That’s, like, Civil War era, people! This ancient parchment practically bans abortions entirely, and I mean entirely. No exceptions for situations that make you question the universe like, “What if it’s the result of a really weird game of Twister?” Or even “What if the stork accidentally dropped the baby on the wrong doorstep?”

But, wait, there’s more! The Court of Appeals went all philosophical and said, “Nah, we can’t just read this old law in isolation.” They went full-on interpretive dance and concluded that Arizona’s laws basically give doctors the golden ticket to do this thing, while non-doctors are still playing a risky game of Operation with the law.

Let’s take a moment to remember that a court had put this ancient 1864 law on ice back when Roe v. Wade was all the rage. But then, in a twist no one saw coming (except maybe those courtroom cacti), the Supreme Court pulled the rug from under Roe v. Wade, and the state judge down in Tucson did a little jig and unblocked the law.

So there you have it, folks! The Arizona Supreme Court’s getting ready for a legal showdown that might just be more intense than a tumbleweed race in a windstorm. Stay tuned for the next episode of “As the Gavel Drops!” 💥🍿Alright, gather ’round folks, because the Arizona Supreme Court has decided to take a break from practicing their “how many cacti can we fit in a courtroom” challenge to review something pretty wild. 🌵 Brace yourselves, ’cause apparently, they’re revisiting the idea that doctors who perform abortions can’t be charged under an old-timey, pre-statehood law that’s like older than the petroglyphs out there.

So, like, picture this: the Arizona Court of Appeals was basically playing referee and blew the whistle saying, “Hey, doctors can’t be charged for doing the whole abortion dance in the first 15 weeks of pregnancy.” Why? Because apparently, Arizona’s got a collection of laws like a grandma’s quilt, and these laws over the years have been giving doctors the thumbs-up to perform this procedure.

Oh, by the way, in case you didn’t know, abortions in Arizona are totally cool within the first 15 weeks of pregnancy. Yep, that’s the rule according to a 2022 law. Just throwing that out there.

Now, enter Dr. Eric Hazelrigg, the medical director of those places that try to convince you that babies are the next big fashion trend, aka anti-abortion counseling centers. He’s like, “Hold my stethoscope, I’m going to the Arizona Supreme Court!” He wanted them to double-check this decision, probably while dramatically waving an ultrasound image in one hand and a bunch of pamphlets in the other. You know, like a really intense game of rock-paper-scissors.

And here’s the kicker: the law he’s waving around is from the 1864 playbook. That’s, like, Civil War era, people! This ancient parchment practically bans abortions entirely, and I mean entirely. No exceptions for situations that make you question the universe like, “What if it’s the result of a really weird game of Twister?” Or even “What if the stork accidentally dropped the baby on the wrong doorstep?”

But, wait, there’s more! The Court of Appeals went all philosophical and said, “Nah, we can’t just read this old law in isolation.” They went full-on interpretive dance and concluded that Arizona’s laws basically give doctors the golden ticket to do this thing, while non-doctors are still playing a risky game of Operation with the law.

Let’s take a moment to remember that a court had put this ancient 1864 law on ice back when Roe v. Wade was all the rage. But then, in a twist no one saw coming (except maybe those courtroom cacti), the Supreme Court pulled the rug from under Roe v. Wade, and the state judge down in Tucson did a little jig and unblocked the law.

So there you have it, folks! The Arizona Supreme Court’s getting ready for a legal showdown that might just be more intense than a tumbleweed race in a windstorm. Stay tuned for the next episode of “As the Gavel Drops!” 💥🍿