Well, well, well, hold onto your handcuffs, folks, because this story’s about to get crazier than a squirrel on an energy drink! 🐿️ So get this, prosecutors are like, “Hey, federal court, let’s get some plea hearings going for these two corrections officers who apparently took ‘protect and serve’ a liiiittle too seriously.” 🕵️♂️ Yep, Assistant U.S. Attorney Monica Coleman ain’t playing games, she’s out here filing motions faster than a toddler unwraps presents on Christmas morning. 🎁 And who are these officers? Andrew Fleshman and Steven Wimmer, AKA the tag team that’s making headlines for all the wrong reasons.
Now, I don’t know about you, but “conspiring to deny someone’s right to due process of law” sounds like the worst episode of ‘Law & Order’ ever. 🚓 Like, “Sorry, you can’t get a fair trial today because the officers are too busy playing ‘Cops and Robbers’ in the break room.” And guess what? These officers are apparently nodding along to a federal charging document like it’s a Taylor Swift concert – yep, they’re waving their intent to plead guilty like it’s a glow stick.
So, this poor dude named Quantez Burks was chillin’ in the slammer when things took a seriously dark turn. ☠️ He’s all like, “I just want to leave this party, officer,” and ends up getting escorted to a place that’s definitely NOT a VIP section. No velvet ropes, just handcuffs. But that’s not the worst part – these officers allegedly turned the poor guy into a piñata while he’s cuffed and posing about as much threat as a marshmallow. 🍬 And just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, they apparently took him to another cell for round two of their “Let’s Beat Up Burks” extravaganza.
Now, the state medical examiner’s office is all like, “Natural causes, folks, nothing to see here,” but the family’s not buying it. 👀 They’re not buying it so hard that they got their own autopsy like it’s a ‘CSI’ episode gone rogue. And guess what the private autopsy found? Not a secret treasure map, but multiple areas of blunt force trauma on poor Burks’ body. Ouch. 🤕
His mom, Kimberly Burks, is speaking up like a lioness protecting her cub, and she’s not holding back. 🦁 She’s telling anyone who’ll listen that her family got hit with a pain so big it’s like the universe handed them a “Sucker Punch for Dummies” handbook. And can we just give her a virtual hug? Because no mom should have to say, “They took a piece of my life away for no reason at all,” with that kind of pain in her heart. 💔
Oh, and don’t even get me started on Gov. Jim Justice and his investigation that apparently turned up nada. 🙅♂️ Like, did he use a magnifying glass or a kaleidoscope? Because allegations of water deprivation and inmates doing floor gymnastics without a mattress sound more suspicious than a dog wearing sunglasses. 🕶️ And Kimberly Burks isn’t buying that either – she’s calling the investigation findings a “lie” faster than you can say “cover-up.”
But hey, it’s not all bad news – apparently, this Southern Regional Jail is the place to be if you’re looking for a ticket out of this world. 🚀 Because news outlets are spilling the tea that there were more deaths there than at a graveyard picnic last year. And just when you thought the show was over, a federal lawsuit struts in, demanding the state spend $330 million to fix things up. Yep, it’s like the prison version of ‘Extreme Makeover: Home Edition,’ except they’re giving a makeover to the whole darn system.
So there you have it, folks, a tale of two officers, a ton of drama, and a sprinkle of justice-seeking moms. 🚔 But remember, the only “conspiracy” you should be involved in is trying to figure out how to get that last piece of pizza without anyone noticing. 😉🍕 Stay safe out there! 🙌Well, well, well, hold onto your handcuffs, folks, because this story’s about to get crazier than a squirrel on an energy drink! 🐿️ So get this, prosecutors are like, “Hey, federal court, let’s get some plea hearings going for these two corrections officers who apparently took ‘protect and serve’ a liiiittle too seriously.” 🕵️♂️ Yep, Assistant U.S. Attorney Monica Coleman ain’t playing games, she’s out here filing motions faster than a toddler unwraps presents on Christmas morning. 🎁 And who are these officers? Andrew Fleshman and Steven Wimmer, AKA the tag team that’s making headlines for all the wrong reasons.
Now, I don’t know about you, but “conspiring to deny someone’s right to due process of law” sounds like the worst episode of ‘Law & Order’ ever. 🚓 Like, “Sorry, you can’t get a fair trial today because the officers are too busy playing ‘Cops and Robbers’ in the break room.” And guess what? These officers are apparently nodding along to a federal charging document like it’s a Taylor Swift concert – yep, they’re waving their intent to plead guilty like it’s a glow stick.
So, this poor dude named Quantez Burks was chillin’ in the slammer when things took a seriously dark turn. ☠️ He’s all like, “I just want to leave this party, officer,” and ends up getting escorted to a place that’s definitely NOT a VIP section. No velvet ropes, just handcuffs. But that’s not the worst part – these officers allegedly turned the poor guy into a piñata while he’s cuffed and posing about as much threat as a marshmallow. 🍬 And just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, they apparently took him to another cell for round two of their “Let’s Beat Up Burks” extravaganza.
Now, the state medical examiner’s office is all like, “Natural causes, folks, nothing to see here,” but the family’s not buying it. 👀 They’re not buying it so hard that they got their own autopsy like it’s a ‘CSI’ episode gone rogue. And guess what the private autopsy found? Not a secret treasure map, but multiple areas of blunt force trauma on poor Burks’ body. Ouch. 🤕
His mom, Kimberly Burks, is speaking up like a lioness protecting her cub, and she’s not holding back. 🦁 She’s telling anyone who’ll listen that her family got hit with a pain so big it’s like the universe handed them a “Sucker Punch for Dummies” handbook. And can we just give her a virtual hug? Because no mom should have to say, “They took a piece of my life away for no reason at all,” with that kind of pain in her heart. 💔
Oh, and don’t even get me started on Gov. Jim Justice and his investigation that apparently turned up nada. 🙅♂️ Like, did he use a magnifying glass or a kaleidoscope? Because allegations of water deprivation and inmates doing floor gymnastics without a mattress sound more suspicious than a dog wearing sunglasses. 🕶️ And Kimberly Burks isn’t buying that either – she’s calling the investigation findings a “lie” faster than you can say “cover-up.”
But hey, it’s not all bad news – apparently, this Southern Regional Jail is the place to be if you’re looking for a ticket out of this world. 🚀 Because news outlets are spilling the tea that there were more deaths there than at a graveyard picnic last year. And just when you thought the show was over, a federal lawsuit struts in, demanding the state spend $330 million to fix things up. Yep, it’s like the prison version of ‘Extreme Makeover: Home Edition,’ except they’re giving a makeover to the whole darn system.
So there you have it, folks, a tale of two officers, a ton of drama, and a sprinkle of justice-seeking moms. 🚔 But remember, the only “conspiracy” you should be involved in is trying to figure out how to get that last piece of pizza without anyone noticing. 😉🍕 Stay safe out there! 🙌