King’s Cut: Royal Staff Shake-Up Unveiled
In a daring move to tighten the grip on efficiency, The Mail on Sunday unveils the King’s secret plan to chop off one in five of his middle-management henchmen, all in the name of boosting the Royal Household’s prowess.
Camilla and Charles, seemingly vexed, reckon there’s an army of redundant aides prancing about.
After nearly a year on the throne, the King’s patience has worn thin with high-ranking courtiers parroting the antiquated mantra: ‘But that’s how the Queen rolled.’
Expect the ax to swing at Buckingham Palace, Sandringham, Windsor Castle, and Balmoral – hotbeds of staff, now potentially on the chopping block. This is no mere whim; it’s the King’s grand scheme to slicken up and zap life into the Monarchy’s modus operandi. Prepare for collateral damage, as scores of workers could be dealt a rough hand.
It’s no newsflash, really. The leaner Monarchy goal, trimming the royal posse from 11 to a svelte 7, has long been etched into the King’s aspirations. But, let’s not kid ourselves – that dream is a hangman’s noose for the workforce. The King knows the wallet’s agony when a sprawling castle drains the taxpayer’s pockets dry.
Too many hands stir the royal pot, murmurs a sneaky insider. Assistants to assistants abound, and the King and Queen yearn for a streamlined brigade, not an army of jacks-of-all-trades. Consider the kitchen – a two-tier chef circus for the royals and the riffraff. They ask, “Can’t one set of kitchen warriors feed the lot?”
Camilla’s battle cry echoes, “Level up the troops!” She ain’t just rallying the troops; she’s overseeing the overhaul herself. Her Majesty’s grumble? Deja vu jobs clogging the pipes – senior housekeeper, executive housekeepers, the junior league. It’s a hubbub, and she ain’t having it.
Enter Vice-Admiral Sir Tony Johnstone-Burt, at Camilla’s beck and call, to stir the pot.
Balmoral, with its pomp and circumstance, is quite the showpiece. Yet, Camilla’s no fan. Birkhall, nearby and devoid of fuss, wins her vote. “Flummery” is her verdict on Balmoral. So, she dips in and out while the King soaks in Balmoral’s ambiance. Her cozy Birkhall cocoon shelters her loyal squad, no more, no less.
March’s end clocked under 500 royal foot soldiers at the palaces – Buckingham Palace, Windsor Castle, Kensington Palace, united they stand.
The King’s weary retort to senior advisors, “But that’s how the Queen did it,” thumps in the air.
Balmoral, the King’s seasonal haven, welcomed him with regal honor. But Camilla, a neighboring dweller, shuns its grandeur, retreating to her Birkhall haven, shielded by her own loyal guard.
Charles ain’t shy about his “less is more” Monarchy wish. A tight crew: him, Camilla, Prince and Princess of Wales, Princess Anne, Prince Edward, and his better half, Sophie, Countess of Wessex. The dream team for a reign of efficiency.
Yet, Princess Anne threw shade. Slimming down? She scoffed, “Was that before or after the Royal Family’s vanishing act?” She’s got a point.
The King aims to streamline his real estate empire too – Andrew’s got to pack his bags at Royal Lodge. And Frogmore Cottage? Harry and Meghan got evicted.
Death brings change – Charles wielded the staff ax at Clarence House. Buckingham Palace’s shiny new era means some old roles collect dust.
Exit packages flowed like bubbly, £444,000 worth of cheer for 16 former Queen’s courtiers.
Under 500 loyal hearts keep the royals rolling, from Buckingham Palace to Kensington Palace, a fine-tuned ballet of power and pomp.
Camilla wasn’t shy, banishing the old guard of ladies-in-waiting. A new deal, same old duties, cleverly wrapped in a “two for one” bargain.
The late Queen had her crew of seven ladies-in-waiting – a tradition that’s gone with the wind.
Buckingham Palace? No comment.